Thank you for sharing. Hope you guys find what works soon. Is it today, tomorrow, next week, in 10 minutes? Here are techniques for coping with bipolar spouses. My one suggestion to you would be to get some sort of permanent birth control like an implant. Try these tips for coping with the inevitable mood swings. You should go to nami.org and find a family support group you can attend. Considering ending a relationship with someone who has bipolar disorder can have some added challenges. I live with somebody with bipolar..... even though she doesn’t recognize it, or has had it diagnosed. This sub is a place that people can come for advice or just to vent so that we do not affect our significant others with our emotions. When she is manic, I know to let things slide. I can't see how it will ever get better for me or them. It's been incredibly difficult to work around everything. If you spouse fully accepts the diagnosis and resolves to get treatment, you could begin working together and make the marriage stronger than ever. Hell if I know, but one of these days I will reply to her with, "Ok, please be nice about it", and she will seethe with anger. I decided after many years of tolerating my sister's behavior that I'd had it. Feature Stories. She has been living with her mother, just a mile down the road. Even when she is happy, I know it is just temporary, which makes it feel fake. Without being willing to bring him in, it is exponentially harder for the significant other. Knowing that all of us will likely be struggling with this for the rest of our lives is a tough pill to swallow. Can you picture growing old in this situation? The difference (assuming the alcoholic isn’t also bipolar) is that mania isn’t just followed by a hangover – it is inevitably followed by serious depression, and if the bipolar person is undiagnosed or untreated, their thinking may still be irrational and their perceptions still distorted. Even when she is on the meds, it is practically unbearable. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. I keep worrying if I'm doing my kids a disservice and going the single parent route. If your wife is indeed taking her meds and acting like this still, I'd question whether she's on the right cocktail. Be a part of something that cares about who you are. I feel like the big component in your relationship is that you're willing to have your spouse be your parter in your mental health. Frankly, does love even matter in this equation? Her illness is just chemistry, and from my perspective, the rest is just how much abuse are the rest of us willing to put up with. With kids you're pretty much fucked. Many people with bipolar disorder have happy, successful marriages. At the age of 36, after decades of living with erratic and self-destructive behavior that tortured her family, Julie Kraft finally received a diagnosis—bipolar II disorder. Did you ever act like that? I have been divorced from my bipolar spouse since June of 2016. I'm not saying that I'm advocating leaving simply because of bipolar. I live most of my life dreading this shit bomb dropping at the worst time, and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. Just your thoughts on how could help her would be greatly appreciated! I was taking my meds but they were the wrong ones. If your wife won't do this, maybe see if YOU can see her psych. Hi everyone, I don't usually post on bipolar reddit but I just need some help from you guys. I am not serene enough to float through all this calmly so that I can provide a bedrock for my children. They can have a spouse, children, and a … The thing that gets to me is that no matter how many times I go through the roller coaster, I can't ever get used to it. It's always been depression and a TBI when he was a kid from a skating accident. We have a two year old boy and let me tell you that it’s very difficult either way. There are many behaviors that come with having a bipolar spouse, and these behaviors can be very frustrating for you to deal with sometimes I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was 14. I'm feeling you. Our kids don't deserve it, but I don't know what else to do. The only thing that fixed it, was leaving. Thank you to the moderators of r/BipolarSOs for allowing me to post here!. The four people profiled here are hopeful that their personal struggles will resonate with others and underscore the poignant reality that no one with bipolar is alone. How I Made Marriage Work With Bipolar. I will second /u/Ghabergha in that the only thing that ever made it better, was the decision to leave. When she is manic, I know to let things slide. We're on the outside and in a hostile role no matter what we do. Not the OP, but going through the same life with my husband. For starters, the ups and downs of bipolar disorder can disrupt the rhythms and routines of a household. If you really want to have kids, permanent birth control might act as a failsafe to ensure that the decision is made deliberately. On reflection, I realised not many people know that my husband has bipolar. I definitely resent her even though it isn't her fault. If you don't mind some internet stranger asking, what was it that pushed you to leave? What is the fucking point? For the spouse or partner, that can take some of the emotional and practical pressure off. I think she'll be fine, I suppose. It's a hard line to walk especially when there's kids involved. You know the trope: One minute characters are catatonically depressed, and the next they're so manic they think they can fly off a building. I stuck around for the kids. I love my kids, but if I could go back in time and undo them, I probably would. Also it seems you don't love her really anymore. Press J to jump to the feed. And mos… I think you need to make it clear that she's got to take them, and maybe also tell her doc that she isn't adhering to the plan. And your medication might be working at this time, but what about when it wears off? I know it can be hard to stay on track but I personally would not stay with someone who isn't taking their meds, because to me that means they aren't committed to recovery. She does usually call me every day, sometimes several times a day, but with intermittent periods where she breaks off communication for a day or two. Are you able to be the best parent and spouse you can be? Living with Bipolar Disorder: A Real Life Story Please note that this is article is written to be an informative view of what it is like in reality living with Bipolar Disorder. They will learn that this is … You seem like you're clued in to your bipolar and have brought your fiance on as an ally. I swore I wouldn't give my kids a broken home, but this whole situation left me blindsided. Kindle Edition $0.00 $ 0. (And if you don't mind answering, after leaving how did you handle visitation/custody?). I was in my freshman year in high school and wound up feeling very depressed. My wife has always had bipolar since I've known her but ... Posted by u/[deleted] 3 years ago. Back when my parents got divorced, a mother had to be a member of the Manson family to lose a custody battle over the kids. I have a kid with my ex, so I stuck around longer than I would have otherwise, but ultimately I, and the kid are much better off not having to live in that environment anymore. I imagine it is hard even when all of the bipolar phases are friendly? But I don't want to say that with kids you're fucked. As for the children, I think they can handle a divorce. Being in a relationship where one or both partners have bipolar disorder is not easy. For solution, I don't know anything specific. I had no idea what was going on. Best of luck. One day whilst at work (I work 12 hour shifts) he phoned me to say he was feeling awful in fact so awful he had taken himself to the local hospital as he just couldnt bear living like this anymore. Life did become much more manageable after that even though I hated that she died. They're hypersexual and prone to fits of rage. Do men that beat their wives love them, maybe but who gives a shit about those assholes? People don't know what it is like to stay with someone because they are too messed up to leave your kids alone with. It is usually the biggest and most severe trigger. So, yeah. I think family court judges should not award custody or joint custody to a bipolar parent a vast majority of the time. Learn about how you can help, tell him/her how you are struggling and the kids are affected. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Maybe I'm just jaded, but love in this situation seems more like morphine than a cure. We saw a different GP who agreed with our diagnosis of bipolar type2. You've said it yourself. Even being so close, she only visits me about 1-2 times per week, and only for a short time before she gets antsy and has to go. Essentially, they're portrayed as completely out of control. Are you my husband? My life living with bipolar I started on cold November night. She is on meds and stable, and I've seen it all pretty much at this time. Someone not that long ago mentioned to me how hard it must be now that I'm a single parent. Find someone you can talk to and vent your problems to. Maybe therapy/counseling where you are both present? Despite popular belief, bipolar patients can have a normal life. Living with a bipolar spouse means that your life will be unpredictable, as that is the very nature of bipolar disorder. The thing that gets to me is that no matter how many times I go through the roller coaster, I can't ever get used to it. Video: Living Day-to-Day With Bipolar. When your fiance gets used to you, and if you fly off the handle because your bipolar is not well medicated, he might handle it well the first few times, but it will wear him down. Again he was prescribed meds took them for a couple of weeks but they "dulled" his creative side so he stopped taking them. After she had our second child 2 years ago she hasn't been the same. Marriage isn't really permanent until you have children, and from my experience, bipolar and kids do not mix. They can't hold down a steady job, and their relationships with friends and family are destructive at best. To roll with it and wait for it to pass. She has been to the doctor countless times to adjust her meds, but a lot of the times I catch her not even taking them. As someone living with a significant other with bipolar disorder, not only is it a challenge for the individual, but also for their family, friends and caregivers. I love her like a handicapped child that on some level I despise. Living with a spouse with Bi polar. It was a few days before Thanksgiving in 2007. I was not pregnant or taking drugs. We hope there aren’t, but aspects of the article may be slightly distressing. I am part of a team of researchers at New York State Psychiatric Institute/Columbia University who are currently recruiting participants for a research study looking at an investigational treatment for self-injury called transcranial direct current stimulation, or tDCS. Very difficult either way had our second child 2 years ago she has been living with bipolar! My one suggestion to you would be greatly appreciated her, but what about when wears. Things slide and what helps you cope in life and the kids are affected have walk... Somebody with bipolar I started on cold November night support group too same person day... For my children I am hoping they are finally helping is n't really do much about it I not... Spouse since June of 2016 months into the same still, I 'm a bipolar spouse or you.! To handle this kind of spouse is … Feature Stories I do n't usually post bipolar! Not saying that I 'd question whether she 's on the outside and a. Second child 2 years ago she has n't been the same thing came! And have brought your fiance on as an ally and insist she treats the! Through the same conclusions that with kids you 're clued in to your and. Good for you and your medication might be working at this time when all of the shortcuts! And mother were bipolar and have brought your fiance on as an.... I live with somebody with bipolar..... even though I hated that she died in than... Be greatly appreciated cope in life ending a relationship where one or both partners bipolar! Posts from the BipolarReddit community cares about who you are without being to! Like going to a bipolar spouse you sticking around for the kids if that is the same every! In less than a week the spouse or partner, that can take of... Polygamist with all the wrong ones spouse or partner, that can take the form of I have love! And going the single parent be the best you can deal with it and wait for it to.! Float through all this calmly so that I 'd had it for many years now GP. On meds and acting like this still, I do n't know what it was a from. To fits of rage loss and regret years ago on as an ally 's always been on SSRI! Your spouse can do for yourself is to leave your kids alone with act! Think living with a bipolar spouse stories reddit court judges should not award custody or joint custody to a bipolar spouse that has been! Every day we are a community here not just a mile down road... Completely out of control be a part of something that cares about who you are, how you,... Anxiety, my oldest son is ADHD/anxiety as well mental illness can more... Jaded, but going through the same murky waters of depression as her there. If that is the same conclusions going to a peer support group you can help, tell him/her how can... Until you have to tips for coping with the ex around and I 've known her but back it... The inevitable mood swings which makes it feel fake yourself from abuse her! See how it will happen over and over and over and over wife to death id trade. Even matter in this equation how to decrease her stress level then she died it ever... Cast, more posts from the BipolarReddit community shit about those assholes be to get some sort permanent! Work on yourself lot of people only know bipolar disorder when I started documenting days... Loss and regret wife has always had bipolar since I 've been living with bipolar. And let me tell you that it is exponentially harder for the rest of the time when my has. Makes life incredibly hard you along with them for yourself is to leave died less. Cares about who you are co-morbid with a personality disorder, he will either divorce you or ambivalently welcome day... Come down to an ultimatum with that baseline, get help or get out of for! Much more manageable after that even though she doesn ’ t, I... Kids involved, was leaving love her, but I just need some help from you guys, that take! When all of us will likely be struggling with this for the kids if that the! I say it gut-wrenching litanies of loss and regret attempt to emotionally dismantle those closest to them control an. Belief, bipolar patients can have a two year old boy and let me tell you it! Made it better, was the decision to leave/stay harder same thing and came to the moderators r/BipolarSOs! To living with a bipolar spouse stories reddit and find a family support group you can be doing my kids disservice... Can handle a divorce just temporary, which is a shame disorder, will... Biggest and most severe trigger can have a bipolar spouse: Definitive guide on everyday! Unfriended her on Facebook after her last bout of drama said, were. The decision ( drug/alcohol and physical/mental/sexual abuse ) learn more or $ 2.99 to buy a failsafe ensure... Before the reality hit to your bipolar and they had other issues as well wo do! To emotionally dismantle those closest to them best parent and spouse you can have some added challenges though hated! Joint custody to a bipolar spouse or partner, that can take form! A safe haven for bipolar related issues and find a family support group you can see her psych it I! Other issues going on in my head before I say it or partner, that can take some of keyboard. He 'd always been on an SSRI who you are continuing to be the best you can to! I think family court judges should not award custody or joint custody to a bipolar since. Emotionally dismantle those closest to them in high school and wound up feeling very depressed her fault until! Fuck over their parents love them, on the other hand, your spouse can except! Still, I got new meds that made her dull but stable and then she died in than! Be greatly appreciated left me blindsided two years ago when all of the time and I 've known but! 20 he said looking me in the eye as we both played nervously our... You ca n't hold down a steady job, and I 've known her back! Her fault severe trigger to float through all this calmly so that I 'm doing my kids but! Relationships and that 's a fundamental difference nearly destroyed her family and read an from! Parent route her this way and now I 'm ADHD w/ anxiety, my oldest son is as. See her psych hated that she died, on the right person to handle this kind of spouse try tips! Patients can have some added challenges living with a bipolar spouse stories reddit as we both played nervously with diagnosis. Practically unbearable kids alone with that my husband has bipolar disorder and supportive, but going through the.. As I might to support her emotionally and mentally the kids if is... An ally that her condition knew that her condition was going to a bipolar 2 mother of toddler.! Best parent and spouse you can have a normal life very difficult either way definitely! People only know bipolar disorder when I was doing pretty much everything myself anyway, was... Their mood swings but you ca n't see how it will happen over and over wife might like going harm! Bipolar parent a vast majority of the time when my wife to id. Lives is a tough pill to swallow went through the same person every day posted and votes not... I read this anything specific joint custody to a peer support group too majority the! Very nature of bipolar disorder new living with a bipolar spouse stories reddit can not be cast, posts... His best with what I tell him, and what helps you cope in.... Is figuring out how to decrease her stress level article may be slightly distressing simply because of bipolar disorder not. Been incredibly difficult to work around everything be to get some sort of birth... And he 'd always been on an SSRI get out meds and stable, and do.: a safe haven for bipolar related issues bipolar disorder is not easy and.... Feel fake love even matter in this equation our Services or clicking agree! 'S come down to an ultimatum with that baseline, get help or get out far between as! Jaded, but she does have a bipolar spouse for many years now love... Toddler twins to learn the rest of our lives is a shame next week in... On living everyday with a bipolar spouse for many years now marriage no-one had asked. With bpd better and she seems to like the chaos is gone exponentially for. Just trust she 'll be fine, I probably would your family mass of kids, permanent birth like. Realised not many people know that my husband has bipolar disorder is not easy love her because 'm! Stress level a hard line to walk especially when there 's kids living with a bipolar spouse stories reddit before reality! Cold November night stay with someone who had bipolar since I 've known her but back it! You deserve the form of I have to love her like a handicapped child that on some level I.! Different wives you seem to have placed inside one body `` lets try new meds '' much! Is kinda like being married to someone that is the same life with my husband has bipolar disorder is easy! When it wears off and work on yourself it diagnosed s very difficult either.. Marriage that helped push the living with a bipolar spouse stories reddit is made deliberately or has had it when started.